We start by identifying patterns you get stuck in that lead to more disconnection and I help give you a framework, language and skills to use to share your experiences, your feelings and needs to one another. As a couples therapist with an attachment based framework, I will meet with you each individually as we get started to explore how your family and relationship history influence your current relationship dynamics. I help you explore how to feel more secure in your relationship and increase your responsiveness to each other. Sometimes couples therapy ends in separation, and I support you through difficult choices especially if they lead to ending your relationship.

I also acknowledge the various stressors affecting your relationship including careers, parenting, caregiving, or racially based stressors/trauma and attend to dynamics present in same-sex, inter-racial and cross cultural relationships. Focusing on planning for a future together, adapting to parenthood, revitalizing sex and intimacy, coping with sexual trauma, healing from affairs and coping with blended family dynamics, navigating separation and divorce are among other issues couples address. 

I recommend various readings, resources or videos as needed in my work with couples, and I generally recommend Dr. Sue Johnson’s book, Hold Me Tight, for those couples seeking one book that supplements the therapy work. In Hold me Tight, Dr Johnson introduces Emotionally Focused Therapy for the public and teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.