Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is well-validated empirically supported approach to couples therapy that is effective for many couples. It is grounded in a simple but powerful idea: most relationship distress comes from disconnection and the fear of losing an important bond. It’s painful to feel disconnected from your person. Many people feel stuck when they start couples therapy despite having tried their best efforts to make changes. As a psychologist working from an EFT approach, I take a systematic approach to addressing your relationship challenges to help rebuild your connection. In EFT couples therapy, we will:

Map Your Negative Cycle:
We identify the moments where things go wrong between you—what you say, what you do, and what you feel inside. We focus on how you impact each other and name negative cycles as the problem, rather than seeing each other as the problem. This cuts through blaming behaviors and helps you pay more attention to your own experience.

Understand The Emotions Underneath:
Under anger or withdrawal, there are often softer more vulnerable feelings: loneliness, shame, fears (of not mattering), or worry about being rejected. Couples therapy gives you a safe space to make contact with and discover your deeper emotions and to share these with your partner in a safe and supportive space.

Create New Bonding Experiences:
Sessions provide an opportunity to take risks and have new experiences where you practice communicating and relating to each other differently—sharing feelings more clearly and responding with care. These new moments slowly reshape your bond.

Strengthen And Maintain Your Connection:

When you start to fight or withdraw less, you have the opportunity to get closer. As your negative cycle softens, we can explore ways to deepen your sex and intimacy. Many couples value the ongoing support they receive in couples therapy. When they end, some may return for occasional “booster” sessions to stay grounded in the changes they have made.

I am a trauma-informed generalist psychologist and draw from a range of modalities in my work with clients but EFT is my primary framework with couples because it works. We know this from the research but maybe just as important (or more) is that I have seen this approach work for couples over and over again. It’s an honor to help people make significant and meaningful changes in their most important relationship.